sorry it's be awhile

We didn't find out to much while we were in Chicago. They were pleased with the way the medicine that they put me on last time was working. Before they put me on this medicine when it got cold my joints in my fingers and my legs would hurt so bad. I have not had a bit of pain and that is such a blessing. They wanted to keep seeing my every 3 months for atleast a year, because the lupus can come back so quick they want to stay on top of it. Olivia had a good time in the hotel, but she still wasn't sure about the whole thing, but she did say she wanted to go back.
After I got home my transplant coordinator called and they want me to do the same echo that I had done down here, done up there, they said they didn't get all the answers they needed. Now this was the echo that made me feel like I was having a heart attack. So I have to call and set up an appointment for next time we are up there, since I can't have the transplant for awhile, we don't have to make a special trip. Because I must say I am not looking forward to it.
My bloodpressure has been doing better, they have put me on a new medicine and not to mention that they have been able to take more fluid off of me and i'm leaving out at lower dry weight so that means I must have lost a little weight.
I have to go in Thursday to have the graph looked at in my arm. They are having trouble sticking me at dialysis so they want a scan done. That way they will see where it is and how big it is in places. Pray for good results!
So I hope everyone has had a good week, our next appointment isn't until April. But I will post after Thursday

another day another trip

Well we made it to Chicago, got Emma, ate supper, sat in the hot tub and now relaxing in the room. The only thing is I miss my boys. Another problem, I'm having blood pressure issues. I have had a problem with my blood pressure since the babies were born. I'm on 3 different pills and a patch. It is fine while I am at dialysis, but later in the afternoon, it starts to go up. I have to take an extra pill to lower it, but that is not the best solution. I am going to check with my doctor tomorrow to see what she suggest. High blood pressure is not good on my kidney's and if and when I get the transplant that will be an important part that will need to be controlled. So please say a prayer that we will find a solution to this problem. I'll update everyone Wednesday on what the doctor says, we won't be home till late because my appointment isn't until 3:30 then we are heading home. Pray for safe travels and answers, also pray for josh and Alex back home.
Dear Lord,
Please grant us wisdom, strength, and send us down the right path. Please send me the peace with my blood pressure and the answers that we are seeking. Protect us as we travel, and josh and Alex as the wait for us back home.
Amen

don't know what to do

Olivia has always been the one that liked school, she was always ready to go even when they didn't have it. Alex always wanted to sleep in and stay home with me and meme. Well Santa came a few weeks ago and scared Olivia half to death. Ever since then she cries everytime we drop her off and her teacher says as long as she is on her lap she is fine, but when she puts her down she cries again. I have told her Christmas is over he isn't coming back, but that doesn't seem to help. I'm at the end of my rope I have no idea what to do. I pray everyday that she will understand that I wouldn't send her if I thought he was going to be there to scare her. Please pray that she feels safe and will not be scared anymore.

2010

Well it has began! Here is my plan, to let myself allow God to show me the way! So often i want to do what I want to do. Just like my kids I always tell them i'm the boss, but the one thing I forget if I must answer to someone much higher.
Plans for Life:
live like there is no tomorrow, I will be healed this year, I just know it
love myself for me
show my kids how much I love them every chance I get
love Josh and thank him more for everything he does for us
make more time for just me and Josh
make more time for just me
2009 was a rough year, so I figure things can only go up from here!

Come on 2010

Looking back over the past year, there have been so many wonderful things that have happened in my life, but with the good comes the bad. The first half of the year, I finally got a job that I loved. How many people can say that, but I did. Then just 3 months into the job I get sick again. The one thing I didn't want to ever happen again. But I have come to terms with it. I mean why always be down, that just brings everyone down with you and what fun is that. I will overcome this, if it is with a transplant or by the grace of God he heals me.

Josh and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary, the twins turned 4 (tear). Two of my best friends had new babies, Myleigh Lou and Peyton Joe! So all in all I believe 2009 hasn't been so bad. I am looking forward to 2010 with a new outlook, praying everyday for more patience and that God will continue to put me on the path in which HE want me to be on.

Merry Christmas

We started last night with the first stop at Josh's mom and dad's then on to his grandma's for the rest of the family. Needless to say we all had a wonderful spread of gifts. But I got the best gift from Josh, he had taken the kids and had their picture made without me knowing and had them made into 3 foot long photo boards. There is a big picture in the middle and four 4x6 around it. Each of them have a different saying. I cried, there is nothing more important to me then my kids. I can't wait for Emma to get here and see hers. We got up this morning and the kids were very pleased with what Santa brought. Then we went to meme's and got even more goodies. I just hope everyone remembers the real reason it's not the gifts, but the who was born on this day and how he changed our lives. Jesus is the reason for the season.
Emma gets here tomorrow, and she will open all of her Christmas from us and that is always fun. She got a cell phone for Christmas, and sent me a text message earlier, needless to say I saved it, I love that little girl like she is my own. That is why I am so excited Josh made sure to get her pictures done the same as the twins.
Well I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

Just another day

I had dialysis today and once a month they take lab work. Well I got this months results back and they were all good. YAY Praise God. For those of you who don't know a lot about dialysis, I have to limit my fluid intake, I can only have 40 ounces of fluid a day and that includes foods like pudding and such. Then when I get to dialysis I have to weigh in and they take off the fluid that I gained. Well today when I weighed in, I didn't gain anything, which means they only had to clean my blood. And that is really good. God is good and I give all the credit to him. Just wanted to share the good news, I am really pleased!
Keep praying for healing and strength.
PS When we were in Chicago last time Roch (josh's mom) got tested to see if we were a match for the transplant and we have the same blood type which is the first step. I have a couple cousins that are getting tested along with my mom and dad. So they will go with the best match.